In Search of Tango Bliss: the art of finding perfect events
Big tango events are a special kind of experience. Part family reunion, part test of endurance, part voluntary embrace of physical rigor, big tango events immerse us in a unique world where the shared bliss of dance intertwines with the deliberate challenge of embracing the struggle on the dance floor.
Top 10 non-Amazon gifts for your tango friends
Few things throughout the year cause me as much stress as gift buying at Christmas time…maybe taxes come close. I am the person who would rather not buy ANY gifts rather than get something generic/uninteresting.
Tango, body image & the struggle for self-esteem
We always see others as more perfect, convinced that we ourselves are lacking in some fundamental way. So we might silently compete with each other, or feel jealous, or intimidated, or insecure around each other because we perceive that they are in possession of the very things we are lacking.
Dating a tango dancer…
My first piece of advice, don’t do it. But if you do it, you better buckle up because romantic relationships in tango are either heaven or hell, not much in between, and hell dominating most of the time.
Why is learning tango so hard?
It took me years to get proficient at it and having talked to hundreds of dancers over the years, I know I am not the only one. Now what do I mean by “learning it?” I consider something learned once I can explain and teach it to someone else.
How to give feedback in tango
“May I offer you some feedback?” The most innocent 6 words you could ever read. But also the most triggering 6 words you might ever hear.
4 reasons why you don’t like dancing with everyone
You dance with one person and you feel like every step you make is perfect, you are completely on your axis, everything fits, everything is connected. You think “wow I really know this, I am getting good at this.” You take your next embrace and suddenly you can’t find your balance, every step is precarious and awkward, you keep bumping into your partner and the music isn’t even in your awareness.
To heel or not to heel?
“Do you feel a difference when you dance with partners wearing heels and those wearing flats?” A milonguero friend asked me. “Yes of course,” I said. “Those dancing in heels are less stable and more tense, always.”
Tango and competition
Social tango is competitive by nature. But it’s a strange kind of competition. There is no physical prize at the end, there is no certificate of accomplishment or a medal at the end of the milonga. We go in competing for the attention of someone we want to dance with.
Tango milestones
Tango is not a straightforward journey with clearly marked signs and directions. We all just jump into the unknown and the unknown takes us where it will, sometimes good sometimes not so good. But there are certain milestones that everybody hits more or less in the same order.
5 Films every woman should see
When was the last time you were REALLY excited about being a woman? I gotta be honest, it’s felt a little bleak in the past few years. With all of the gender inequality issues, discrimination controversy, lack of justice… Not to mention the continuous unearthing of sexual harassment cases by powerful men in every major professional field. It’s felt a little bleak.
Are you too old to be a tango dancer?
“When I started tango I was in my 20s and fit, now I am in my 40s and fat, and I have become invisible…” she said to me when explaining why she was leaving tango. She is not the only one. I have had hundreds of conversations with other women over the years about getting less dances as they age.
Dear Tango, let’s redefine femininity
Even as an awkward 12-year old I knew I couldn’t be dainty no matter how hard I tried, and how much I wanted to fit in. Even as an adult I haven’t figured out the real use for lip gloss (your hair gets stuck in it and it rubs off on everything!) or how to walk in heels without excruciating pain (how did Carrie Bradshaw do it looking so effortless!). I have cats instead of kids for a reason and I prefer putting myself first most of the time, even though it might upset my family.
Tanda Interrupted
“I’m sorry, this is not working for me,” I say nervously and walk off the dance floor. In my 13 years of dancing tango, never once have I walked off the dance floor in the middle of a tanda.
It’s time to speak up…
His fingers dug into my side with an unusual ferocity. Like claws, his hands pushed and pulled at my flesh like he was trying to dig into the space between my ribs, searching for something.
5 things to do at the milonga if you’re not dancing
Like life, social dance is pretty unpredictable. Sometimes you go and you barely sit down. Other times you sit for hours waiting wondering if you wore the right thing or if there is something on your face.
The Chateceo
Who knew that sitting by the men’s bathroom was the cabeceo hotspot?
Not that I was really looking anymore. I just wanted to hide somewhere. It was getting to that delirium hour, sometime around 4am, when physical pain begins to outweigh the pleasure and the chase after that perfect dance feels like too much for the soul.