It took me years to get proficient at it and having talked to hundreds of dancers over the years, I know I am not the only one. Now what do I mean by “learning it?” I consider something learned once I can explain and teach it to someone else. 

“May I offer you some feedback?” The most innocent 6 words you could ever read. But also the most triggering 6 words you might ever hear.

You dance with one person and you feel like every step you make is perfect, you are completely on your axis, everything fits, everything is connected. You think “wow I really know this, I am getting good at this.” You take your next embrace and suddenly you can’t find your balance, every step is precarious and awkward, you keep bumping into your partner and the music isn’t even in your awareness.

“Do you feel a difference when you dance with partners wearing heels and those wearing flats?” A milonguero friend asked me. “Yes of course,” I said. “Those dancing in heels are less stable and more tense, always.”