You dance with one person and you feel like every step you make is perfect, you are completely on your axis, everything fits, everything is connected. You think “wow I really know this, I am getting good at this.” You take your next embrace and suddenly you can’t find your balance, every step is precarious and awkward, you keep bumping into your partner and the music isn’t even in your awareness.

“When I started tango I was in my 20s and fit, now I am in my 40s and fat, and I have become invisible…” she said to me when explaining why she was leaving tango. She is not the only one. I have had hundreds of conversations with other women over the years about getting less dances as they age.